Undercover Cop

In our current episodes of Crime Time Inc I’m being closely interrogated by my
co host Tom Wood, who rightly feels that he wants to shine some light on the
world of undercover police work for our listeners. Meanwhile, I’m squirming
trying to deflect him with stories and snippets of divisional cases I worked on,
determined not to shine any meaningful light whatsoever. For very good
reasons.
Firstly, the anonymity of our UC’s, and the methods of our security services
who use UC’s to infiltrate and gather intelligence of major criminals and crime
gangs are best left well alone. If even acknowledged and recognised at all. They
work far better under all radar and very often even our politicians and leaders
don’t want to know anything about them or their activities. This is as it should
be.
Secondly, to ask me or any other UC to relate how we operated and how it
affected us is to ask us to go back to a time when we did things we would
rather not admit to. We would rather not even think about it because frankly
we had to become other people. Drug dealers, drunks, thieves and worse, and
to revisit that now is to open boxes packed, sealed and locked away in the lofts
of our minds many years ago.
Apart from anything, colleagues of mine who worked on the front line are now
being scrutinised to ascertain if they should be held culpable for their actions,
sometimes 40 years ago. So to start talking about any of these decisions and
actions that were deemed necessary and part of our duty at the time is very
dangerous in many ways.
UC work is to my mind the front line of law enforcement, where the risks are
as serious as it gets. There are very real threats involved, that most people
would never experience. This means UC’s living with the highest levels of
concentration and focus 24/7, and the resultant adrenalin surge that you live
under permanently takes an inevitable toll. One wrong move, one wrong
answer or one wayward look at any time can prove catastophic. I can assure
everyone, from very personal experience, that living under those conditions
whilst undercover takes a constant toll on everyone we ask to do it. And I also
know that some who go down that road, in order to help keep us all safe from
the very worst among us, never make it back intact. Or even at all. I know of
those who came back physically but were forever changed. Not for the better.

This work is a very necessary evil. Far better it was never required, but such are
the threats to our way of living, our institutions and our economy and
democracy, sometimes we have to fight fire with fire, and even accept that
there will inevitably be casualties and collateral damage. Very often those who
are sacrificed are the UC’s we employ to do our very dirty work.
Imagine having to become another person. Leave your family life behind for
weeks or months on end. Living a life you would never choose, befriending
people you would never have met in your real life, and building relationships
and friendships with them. Joining in with nefarious activity you abhor, speak
about people in a way you deplore and always alert to any sign that you are in
danger or compromised in any way. Then the most difficult and ultimately
lethal part of the job. Being unable to talk to anyone about what you do.
Noone. Not at home, not to former colleagues, not to friends or family.
The double life of a UC agent can seem glamorous and exciting, but the reality
is that it is a horrible existence where lies, deceit and subterfuge meet
falseness, manipulation and betrayal.
The harsh reality is that these traits are necessary and that pretence is no use
when faced with real criminals, henchmen and brutes. When the lucky ones do
come out the other side and back to reality, there are no rewards or medals,
no recognition or even thanks. Only scrutiny, criticism and judgement, from
people who have no idea about what it’s like to cross the line, and live on the
dark side of society. And ultimately, just when you think you might have
dreamt the whole thing, retired Deputy Chief Constables asking you to tell
them what it was like.
It's not possible to convey the experience of being under deep cover. Have you
ever tried conveying verbally how good a concert was to a friend? Some things
are best left alone because no one will ever really understand, and there will
always be another question, and another.
Suffice to say that due to recent working committees, enhanced regulation and
some acknowledgement of this type of work there seems to be a bit more
support for the men and women who do the job of an Undercover on our
behalf. We should be thankful that they do, but always regretful that they are
required at all.